She comes on like a crippled plaything

"fucked up fallen angel"

2006-08-07T23:21:01Z

I woke up to this in my inbox & it made me smile

[from the talented ZO]

fallen angels are ones that got screwed and returnin the favor to the world.

the fallen angel who answers to no one
not envious of those above
takes to herself the shitty deal life dealt
but is the best one, for she knows wats life about
she bleeds,hurts,fucks and feels like us
she screams, yells, gets scared and cries
might go unnoticed til you get to know her
then her beauty over shadows any flaw you can find
maybe made for fame, for glory, or jus change peoples lives
you are made for all three
sad day when you have to return home
but so many have made a home for u in their heart
ur the beautiful fallen angel who hit the ground
lost soul who doesnt need to be found
does shit that makes good ones frown
but still is the greatest thing eva around

fallen angel that got screwed and returns the favor to the world
fallen angel that still lives life high

HASIDI"S

2006-08-05T01:53:03Z

~~I've got a lot of work to do~~

FUCK rich text

BEFORE

AFTER

all created from this nonsense...

-Jew Maker

i don't have enough middle fingers

2006-08-04T23:41:47Z

I've spent yet another day withering in this apartment.
mostly sitting on the stoop outside ranting & being hormonal.
giving all the indians dirty looks;
That, and checking the mailbox every hour.
Only to stare at an empty slot, every time i turn the key
Michigan postal workers are top-shelf retarded.

I haven't washed my hair in 7 days;
im such a greaseball, its beginning to dread itself.
psst. baby powder is the trick, a little FYI for all you grimey's out there.
I'm gussied up in a skimpy black, lace up corset
along with the same pair of pants i've been wearing for probably 2 weeks now.
well battered, with chipped nail polish& left over make-up.
I've had a square glued between my fingers all day,
and i like it that way.
I've been listening to manson & rammstein with cops muted on the tube;
randomly getting pissed and fighting with cabinets,
with only the scent of Nag Champa to calm me down.
I swear I'm bipolar amongst many other bad habits & pyschological disorders.
And I sit here, googling pictures of Hasidic Jews,
and wishing i was drunk & stoned & somewhere in London stomping some sick fuck's family jewels with my stiletto thigh-high heels for filthy lucre.

A perfect picture.
I can paint you pretty little fucking pictures all day.

I want to
RUN
DIE
or
GET FUCKED UP

And I think I'm going to check the mailbox again.

scapegoat

2006-07-28T18:38:20Z

It's the caffeine, the nicotine, the miligrams of tar
It's my habitat, it needs to be clean, it's my car
It's the fast talk they use to abuse and feed my brain
It's the cat box it needs to be changed, it's the pain
It's women, it's the plight for power it's government
The way your giving knowledge slow and throwing in subtle hints
It's rubbing it, It's itching it, It's applying cream
It's the foreigners sight seeing with high beams, It's in my dreams
It's the monsters that I conjure, It's the marijuana
It's emberassment, displacement, It's where I wander
It's my genre, It's Madonna's videos
It's game shows,cheap liquor,blunts, and bumper stickers with rainbows
It's angels, demons, gods, it's the white devils
It's the monitors, the soundman, it's the fucking mic levels
It's gas fumes, fast food, Tommy Hil, the date rap pill (?)
Columbia House music club, designer drugs and rhyming thugs
It's bloods and crips, five and six,
It's stick up kids, It's christian conservative terrorists, it's porno
flicks
It's the east coast, no it's the west coast
It's public schools, it's asbestos
It's mentholated, It's techno
It's sleep, life, and death
It's speed, coke, and meth
It's hay fever, pain relievers, oral sex, and smokers breath
It stretches for as far as the eye can see
It's reality, fuck it , it's everything but me
On and on and on and on
The list goes on and on and on and on
It's in the air, in the water, it's in the meat

It's indirect, indiscrete, inconsistent, and incomplete
It's on the street, every city and everywhere you go
In every man it's the insanity, the fantasy, the casualties
It's the health care system, it's welfare victims
It's assault weapons, it's television religion, and it's false lessons
It's cops, pigs with badges guns and sticks
It's harassment and a complex you carry when you're running shit
It's wondering if you get to eat
It's the winter , the weather
It's herpes, and it's forever
It's the virus that takes the lives of the weak and the strong
It's the drama that keeps on between me and my seed's mom
It's that need to speek long, It's my hunger for attention
It's the wack , who attack songs of redemption
It's prevention, It's the first solution
It's loosing the retribution(?), it's mental pollution, and public
execution
It's the nails that keep my hands and feet to these boards
It's the part time job that governs what you can afford
It's the fear, It's the fake
It's clear it can make time stop and leave you stranded in the year of
the
snake
It's the dollar, yen, pound, it's all denomination
It's hourly wages for your professional observations
It's on your face and it's in your eyes
It's everything you be
But it ain't me mother fucker, it ain't me
On and on and on and on
the list goes on and on and on and on

My hunger for my blue-collar heaven keeps me sedated

2006-07-28T18:35:13Z

I've been spending way too much time in hospitals,
taking far too many pills
and drinking entirely too much alcohol.

Life in Mono,
this is week 2, living with sethfuck
shits wild.

isitandwonder @ 2006-07-17T00:38:00

2006-07-17T06:13:38Z

She's got a couple down,
swigging beers & making love to her camel turkish royals,
the CD keeps skipping, but she pretends not to notice & keeps dancing;
& drinking & making love..until she loses herself.
She likes to dream, she's a dreamer.
she stares like a junkie as she watches the smoke trail off her cigarette.
dancing spirits disappear into the light.
& again she loses herself,
in the music; the melody trickling through her fingers,
racing up her arms & through all her veins,
flowing down to her stomache, her muscles clenching
pushing it around her thighs,
all the way down to each & every last toe..
& she thinks.
She thinks about love & she wonders what its like,
She thinks about making love & how badly she wants someone to fuck the pain away.
She thinks about the world & she feels it's sadness,
She, takes another swig, while running her fingers down her chest
She bites her bottom lip & thinks about roaming around drunk in the temple cemetary,
swirling around, blessing bodies with PBR & telling secrets to a tombstone.

isitandwonder @ 2006-07-16T20:52:00

2006-07-17T01:56:28Z

GRRR.

I want to annihilate the fuck out of something.

beat down.

I'm --- this close to selling all my things, & taking off to Europe.

she's lost control...

AKJDSHDK

2006-07-16T03:24:31Z

My head feels like a spaceship,
I feel completely fucking numb.

I HATE the name "Angela",
I never want to hear it again.

Red roses, Pinot Grigio, WAY too much self-medicating..
I'm a zombie.

I've got lost in my mind somewhere.

I HATE losing trust.
As well, as these scenarios replaying in my head.

What you did was a sweet gesture,
I just can't seem to believe the things you say.

I want to HATE you so fucking bad.
I want to hate your guts.
but all it takes is to look in your eyes & it feels like everything is fine.
and that's what i HATE more than any of this.

You've let me down, Baby.

I love you,
but I just dont know if this is going to work

I've sold my cqr, I've packed my bags,
now all I need to figure out is where I'm going to.

The nervous systems down

2006-07-08T21:36:50Z

Sometimes we walk like we're shot through our heads, my love.

isitandwonder @ 2006-02-21T14:28:00

2006-02-21T20:31:38Z

I woke up this afternoon to tom & jerry;
fully clothed & at the wrong side of the bed.

I feel like my insides are going to jump out of my throat, again.

It's going to be a long day.

snap out of this

2006-02-18T02:19:37Z

I'm hungry, my tummy is rumbling, but I can't seem to keep anything down.

On another note,
I'm beginning to think I'm a hopeless romantic.
a sick & twisted, wonderously crazy romance.

I'm hokey, shut up.

2 kinds of hell

2006-02-18T00:53:32Z

I've spent my day in the worst 2 places.
&

I think the weirdest part was having a needle in my arm...
being wheeled around the emergency room,
oh & having various ladies sticking various objects inside of me.

I'm sick & tired of being sick & tired.

forever ever ever ever ever

2006-02-16T07:40:22Z

_{138 138}138.

what the fuck?

isitandwonder @ 2006-02-16T00:12:00

2006-02-16T06:44:47Z

random urges.

little rambunctious teddy bear

an eye for an eye, a spy for a spy

2006-02-15T21:06:09Z

Fuck, Saint Valentine.

Lately,
I've been spending far too much time rotting on here,
& watching the mess compile on my floor.
My closet is filled with dirty laundry,
and probably sporing AID infested, toxic waste, rabid maggots.

I spent my valentine's stumbling aimlessly around the old market,
taking pictures & laughing at sappy couples.
sipping coffee & smoking cigarettes.
Letting my thoughts drift in the brisk gusts of;
blinking chameleon lights.

It was quite humbling.

<lj-cut text="disregard the horrid quality, its all in the way you look at it">

for the activists.

JERRRYYYY!!

sculpture garden.

fucking mormons man, you should have seen the sadness in their eyes.

I couldn't agree more.

2006-02-14T06:10:17Z

"Do we really need a hell? Isn't Earth enough? This world seems set up solely to maximize the suffering of its inhabitants. I see the evil that people work. I see the evil that I have worked. Everyone is guilty. People are not moral creatures. They never were. Sometimes we pretend. We like to think that we our good outweighs are evil. Claim to have some sort of "moral foundation". But moral foundations just become a justifications for other evil works.

Humans aren't the only players here, Nature is a extremely evil bitch on her own. The wild is not some sort of paradise. Most of the animals in the forest have been completely traumatised and terrified. Horrible things routinely happen to everyone in the wild. Life is short, swift, painful, and brutal. Suffering comes to all.

Is there a point to this? Is there a reason or a point to this world, to this existence. If there is somewhere such a reason, it had better be a pretty damn good one. Any entity or entities that caused this to be have some serious explaining to do.

Sure good things happen now and again, but they only serve to get hopes up so it will be that much more devastated when everything comes crashing down. The best thing that could happen for Earth would be it's destruction. An large enough asteroid to obliterate all life would nice. Maybe we can just nuke the hell out of ourselves. Will the end come anytime soon? Will Kevorkian save our souls? I do not know, but I can hope."

hold your breath now

2006-02-14T03:54:32Z

Another night rotting at Sally's with Lindsay.
We spent majority of the night in the back;
Watching Natural Born Killers & painting our nails.
Boredom always seems to make my fingers sticky.

On another note, my boobs are plumping rapidly...

BAH!

If you let me down, I will live in you forever

2006-02-13T18:53:11Z

While every day my confusion grows,
as does my belly...
I've been eating enough for an army of babies.
I've been crying enough to fill a river.
and I've been laughing enough, I could float away.

Oh, this bizarre love triangle.
and it's crazy to think, that from this point on I'm never truely alone.

I feel bipolar, I feel cynical, I feel like my insides have been pulled through my throat, shredded ,and thrown into a money machine while I'm trying to catch the pieces with a body made of jello.
I am the crazy cat lady

It's time to make that call.
Here come's the conversation I've been dreading...

DAY IN, DAY OUT

2006-02-13T08:14:16Z

Watch the moonrise tonight The ocean looms past bonfires alight
I am a stranger in this place And when I see you, I can't turn away
Under this beach lie pirate bones We stand above them, at long last alone
There's something different in your heart

You're not afraid of the darkness within us all
And we kiss, in the Santa Carla twilight On the beach,
under a Santa Carla moon I am lost - but I've found you in my arms
And my heart is blacker than the dark ocean
Eternity... belongs to us
Eternally... lasts out love
If you want forever close your eyes and surrender to me
Just remember today was the last that you'll ever see the sun In Santa Carla
Hear the song of night tide
It's been ages since I felt this alive
At long last I've found you and it ends
The loneliness we feel that they could never understand
And in this land beyond the dusk
A consummation of unholy love
Between two children of the night
As all time dissolves into a crimson dream

heart the size of a poppy seed

2006-02-08T07:21:00Z

Life in Mono

isitandwonder @ 2006-02-07T18:34:00

2006-02-08T00:35:41Z

Cat naps never tasted better.

She wears her tears on her blouse

2006-02-07T18:03:12Z

When you go out into the world and cannot hide your sadness, there is a discomfort...
No one wants to look at you, they catch your eyes, those sad, fucking eyes, and they back away...

They ask you how you are, and you fail to lie and they cannot handle it. They ask you how you are, but they don't care. They don't want the truth. They want a "good", a "fine"... ; they want one happy made-up word to reassure them the world is in order, then they go on their way....

innuendo

Lick the edge of the bone dry

2006-02-05T09:57:58Z

I've been staring at my stomache, wondering what's going on inside it.

isitandwonder @ 2006-02-04T02:31:00

2006-02-04T08:37:37Z

My head is spinning, & this bottle isn't doing me any justice.. err just when I thought I've found my "niche" and start to settle, I get that sudden urge to flea again.

Let go of everything you know and disappear.

It's all in the heart, just when you start to feel things a little too familiar; a little too much;... I think my guards are reinforcing, building impenetrable walls around the cavities in my heart.
rah rah rah.
Since when have I become so incapable of dealing with things? Scarlett O'Hara would be ashamed.

Here we go, make sure that you know You can lose what your body controls Take it all, back up off the wall Your impulse turns into a reaction.

I want to get to know a place where anything goes

Lick the edge of the bone dry

2006-02-04T04:40:00Z

One by one the days blur together, the trainwreck that is my life mirroring my tragic surroundings....
& I am so fucking happy!

Surprise, Surprise!

Sethfuck, will be arriving in Nebraska tomorrow night.
I'm so stoked. CHEERS!

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	isitandwonder
Your haiku:	cynical i feel like my brains going to implode screaming alarms loud
Username:

Created by Grahame